Wait, what? No soy milk?!
Expressing dismay at the larder is one faux pas that otherwise well-meaning folks make when staying in someone else’s vacation home.
There are a handful of things hosts would like you to know as the season of sun, sand, and surf rolls in — little ways guests and hosts alike can ensure smooth sailing during a weekend getaway at a lake cottage or mountain cabin.
Two women with decades of experience hosting summer visitors offer some surprising advice: The most important thing guests can do is enjoy themselves.
Caroline Ault, a fourth-generation owner of a historic waterfront family home in Door County, Wis., says simply, “Come! And be excited to be here.” Madeleine Blais, whose husband’s family owned a house on Martha’s Vineyard for nearly 50 years, says, “Your job as a guest was to choose whatever made you happy and do it.”
Blais, whose memoir “To the New Owners” includes the soy-milk incident, advises guests to study the lay of the land.
“If it’s obvious your host would love help with chopping in the kitchen, offer your services. If your host has young children, offer to babysit or take the kids on an outing. Food gifts are always welcome,” she said.
Her family also appreciated errand-running. In her memoir, she writes that “the island is all about schlepping, especially during high season when the roads are overrun with SUVs, so it was a godsend when a guest volunteered to pick up the papers on the morning grocery run.”
She says it’s fun when someone offers to cook and follows through with a great meal but adds that as people become increasingly particular about dietary preferences, they should make those things clear.
“Whenever possible, pick up the slack: That is, bring your own soy milk,” she said.
Ault concurs, remarking that in the world today, “someone can’t eat this, and another can’t eat that. If someone loves to cook and wants to make a meal, I’m all for it.” Though both hostesses agree that meal prep certainly isn’t a requirement.
Ault remembers one guest who showed up with a gift basket containing toilet paper, paper towels and paper napkins. After all, mundane household items do need replenishing.
“That was a sweet thing to do. The amount of toilet paper you go through with lots of people in the house is crazy.” All gifts are appreciated, she says, including “a nice bottle of scotch, a gift certificate, cheese or chocolate, a book or flowers or wine or food. … Even a bottle of dish detergent isn’t a bad thing.”
Ault, who with her husband hosts guests more summer weekends than not, wouldn’t mind if guests stripped their beds Sunday and took the extra step of getting out fresh linens and remaking the bed. Multiply that task by several guests per weekend, all summer long — you do the math. Tidying a bathroom before you leave is likewise appreciated.
“It saves me a huge amount of time. It’s an enormous help,” she said.
If your millennial offspring host friends at your vacation home, gently communicate what’s expected, Ault says. “If we don’t teach them how to be a good guest, they’re not going to know. They can bring a few groceries, write a thank-you note — I’m old school.”
As the visitor, it never hurts to be mindful of Benjamin Franklin’s quote about guests, fish, and both smelling after three days. But neither Ault nor Blais mentioned that. Instead, they focused on fun.
“We made it clear everyone should do what entertains them, and people did,” Blais says. As for hosts, “let guests know you appreciate and treasure their company.”
As Ault looked toward the painting of her great-grandmother, the first owner of their beach house, on the living room wall, she said, “There’s great history here. We are caretakers of this property. It’s been shared with us. Our job is to share it with others. Come with an open heart. Come to have fun.”
Pro tip: Lake house dinner prep
My own in-laws’ much-loved, much-rustic cottage in the vacation hamlet of Sister Bay, Wis., was built a century ago for two parents and four children. These days, during our annual two-week sojourn there, it shelters up to 20 of us.
Overfull vacation homes are not unusual: The National Association of Realtors says vacation homes are, on average, 20 percent smaller than full-time residences.
How do you feed that many people night after night? How is that fun and not fraught? Think goofy themes and competition.
Divide the massive group into dinner-prep teams of three or four. Mix up generations and families — except for new boyfriends or girlfriends, who should hang with their partners.
One year, my husband had the teams riff on the Food Network show “Chopped,” and each team had to incorporate a particular ingredient into the meal (gummy bears, pistachios, Grand Marnier). At vacation’s end, everyone votes for the most unique meal, most creative, etc., rating them from “best ever” to “let’s eat out next time.”
The friendly competition resulted in night after night of superb meals for all.
This originally appeared in June 2018 in the Chicago Tribune and Orlando Sentinel.
